


Blood of The Past

by Shrimprave



Category: Dorohedoro
Genre: Angst, Asexual Character, Asexual Shin, Bisexual Noi, F/M, Fluff and Angst, He Has Some Issues, Hurt/Comfort, I could have written this better but it was for fun, It's not really important to the story but, My guy can face death and yet here we are, Nightmares, Shin may have some trauma, i like to hurt my favorite characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:15:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27651899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shrimprave/pseuds/Shrimprave
Summary: Shin has a nightmare about some stuff that happened when he was in Hole, luckily Noi is awake.
Relationships: Noi & Shin (Dorohedoro), Noi/Shin (Dorohedoro)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 22





	Blood of The Past

Noi found that it was hard to sleep most nights. Not for any particular reason, she simply always felt restless. It could be insomnia, she thought, although it wasn’t that big of a deal. She never felt that tired, but maybe that had to do with her smoke. It was probably the same reason it took her ages to fall asleep. Either way, it didn’t matter. It had been like this ever since she began developing her smoke better and it became stronger; since she became stronger. She was used to it, and it was like it had always been this way. It tended to bother everyone else.

It turns out that pacing the hallways was annoying to other people when you didn’t pay attention to how loud you were walking. Usually this meant she walked past everyone’s rooms quietly so that she could go down to the gym. No better way to pass the time, she supposed, when there wasn’t anything else to do.

Sometimes she would bother Shin. He had explained before that living in Hole by himself made him get used to not sleeping for a while. When he put it like that she sort of felt bad. It sounded like she was bothering him and he could just deal with it. Noi doubted he meant it like that, but she normally refrained from bothering him so early in the morning. As of last checking it was around five in the morning with the sun coming up just barely, give or take. Shin still got up earlier than most of the mansions occupants.

Guilt wasn’t the only thing keeping her from bothering him right now. She was feeling especially restless tonight, having the urge to fight or do something, anything. And yet all she could do was pace her room for a time, considering bothering Shin anyway. It was more fun working out with someone else, but he had seemed so on edge today. He had a tendency to be a bit snippy with everyone, and he got on her nerves sometimes, but that was just how he was. The glares he gave today felt different, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on what it was.

Sighing, Noi chewed on her lip as she stopped in front of her bedroom door. For a moment she paused, weighing her options. She could always give a quick knock on Shin’s door as she passed by since his bedroom was on the way to the gym anyway. If he was awake she could bother him and if he wasn’t then she could be on her way. Simple enough.

Their rooms really weren’t that far apart in her opinion, even for as big of a place En had. To be fair they did have extra bedrooms designated to them, and there was a large amount of staff. It didn’t take Noi a long time to be standing in front of Shin’s door because of this, her hand raised to knock.

One knock. A second. Nothing.  
Noi gave a series of continuous knocks, hoping they were loud enough to be heard on the other side but not enough to bother anyone else. Still nothing. She sighed to herself again, letting her shoulders fall. She couldn’t be too disappointed. After all it’s not like she expected him to be awake.

With a tsk she turned away, grabbing the hair band off of her wrist to pull her hair up into something messy but out of her face. As she took her first step away, before she could go any further, she heard a noise. Noi paused in her steps, freezing where she was in a moment of hesitation. A short moment later a similar noise.

Turning back around, Noi took her place in front of Shin’s door again, giving the door another hard knock. “Senpai?” She half whispered to the door, loud enough she knows he would have heard her had he been awake. Yet again she got no response. She knew his door was unlocked; he always left it that way in the mansion, maybe because he knew if someone wanted in the room bad enough it wasn’t hard to break the door and that would just cause more problems.

Opening the door was the obvious answer for her and she did it with only a second's hesitation. Shin was very serious about his privacy, so normally she didn’t come in unless he opened the door himself, but this time felt different. She didn’t know why she felt so dreadful.

Upon opening the door fully and peaking in, things pretty much looked normal at first glance. Shin was in his bed in some old t-shirt and shorts, curled partially on his side but mostly on his stomach, eyes closed and clearly asleep. By the looks of it he fell asleep with his glasses on again, a small imprint of the side on his temple, and the glasses themselves askew, somehow managing to hang on his face. Noi would have called it cute had she not seen the way his brow furrowed together and a slight sheen of sweat coated his face.

She made a soft sound and closed the door behind her, striding over to the bed. Her hand hovered over one of his shoulders, unsure of what to do or if she should touch him at all. The sound he made when she took a gentle seat on the bed was low and mournful. When she placed her hand on his shoulder he curled into himself more, whatever blanket was still on him making him look somehow smaller.

Her eyebrows furrowed together, red eyes looking over him rapidly. She could feel him shivering under her touch, but she didn’t know what to do. “Senpai,” She said again, softer than at the door, voice smooth and tinged with worry. Shin mumbled something and Noi used her other hand to take his glasses off, reaching to set them on the bedside table. A sharp look passed over his features, close to a wince if anything, but not quite. “Wake up,” She murmured, possibly not loud enough but it’s not like it mattered too much.

Shin’s breath hitched, and for a moment his body stilled. Noi thought for a moment that maybe he did wake up, but that thought was quickly tossed in the wind.  
“Stop it,” He said, words jumbled and hard to decipher, but clearer than any of the other sounds he made. Noi felt his hand bunch up in the blanket, holding it like a death grip just beside her thigh. She was almost grateful it wasn’t her leg.

“Shin-senpai, wake up,” She said a tad more forcefully, a little louder. Noi shook his shoulder once, much gentler than her voice had been that time. She had zero idea how to deal with this shit. She had no idea what was even going on. A nightmare, surely, but what?

“Don’t touch me,” Shin gritted out after a short clipped noise, voice cracking, “Leave him alone!” His arm swung up and he turned, Noi narrowly being missed hit in the face by his hand. She grabbed his arm when it went up, mostly on instinct, but it was yanked back almost instantly. He turned his body away from her, hand that hadn’t been scrunched in the blanket and then thrown at her face draping over his side, nails digging into his shirt and likely the skin underneath.

“Hey-” She began, reaching forward to take his hand away from his side, stopped short in her tracks. As soon as her hand touched his wrist he flung his hand up. This time he did manage to hit her in the face, pretty hard at that. “Ah-” She raised a hand up to her nose, “Shit- Ow-”

Whatever sound he made next she didn’t know how to process. It was almost like a hiss mixed with a groan, giving way to almost a snarl once she collected herself and reached toward him again. 

When she grabbed his wrist this time she held town hard, trying to get him to roll on his back so that she could at least keep him from moving around so much before he hurt himself. In retrospect she knew it wasn’t that great of an idea, but what the hell. Noi had to put some real strength behind getting him to stay still once she got him on his back, holding both of his arms to the side to keep him from hitting her in the face again. She had to lean over him a bit since she was sitting on the bed and he was still laying down. Not the best position she learned as soon as he kneed her in the ribs.

She wheezed for a moment, nearly losing her grip on his arms. “Get the fuck off me!” He all but shouted this time, trying to yank her to the side. She fell forward a little, but regained her composure, pressing his arms down harder onto the bed, and trying to ignore how close she kept getting to being kneed in the ribs again.

Noi felt like shit. At this rate she was willing to slap him to get him to wake up but that would mean letting go of at least one of his arms, and by the way his balled up fists looked, that was a horrible idea. Clearly he was fucking distressed and she did’t fucking know what to do, and by now she thinks she’s making it worse.

“Stop, stop- G-” He pushed toward her this time, which honestly she was not expecting to work out as well as it did but he got an arm free and as such she got punched in the shoulder as she was moved back. “-et off!”

“Woah, woah, calm down,” She said, ignoring her shoulder and instantly grabbing him by his shoulders after he got about halfway sitting up. “Wake! Up!” She spat, shaking him by his shoulders, “You’re okay, Shin,” She added, eyes going soft again, loosening her grip as his body began to untense.

Her yelling may have been heard by other people, but it seemed to have worked some. At least he wasn’t trying to punch her now. “Hey,” she whispered, raising one hand to cup his jaw, her eyes closing, “You’re okay,” She repeated, “You’re okay.”

A few heavy breath’s later and Shin was slumping forward. Noi assumed the nightmare simply passed until she could feel him trembling against her and his arms slowly come up to rest around her waist area. She felt Shin sigh into her neck, hands bunching in the cloth of her tank top.

“Are you awake now, Senpai?” She asked, not unkindly, more securely moving a hand on his back and raising up the other one to rake through his messy hair.

The felt more than she heard him hum, unsteady and more of a sad sound than anything, but a better indicator than none that he answered her. So he did wake up. That was good news.

“Are you okay?” She asked, even though her mind was buzzing with a million questions. Shin was still trembling against her, so she knew the answer, but it didn’t hurt to try and start a conversation with him, even if he didn’t really answer. 

Shin nodded against her, a lie, inhaling a shaky breath. “Sorry,” He mumbled, mostly muffled against her skin. Noi sighed, leaning her head to the side against his.

“Is this one of those stupid sorry’s? You never apologize unless it’s something stupid that you shouldn’t be saying sorry to.” Once again she knew the answer, not that she was expecting one for this.

“You’re stupid,” Shin replied, voice heavy and exhausted, but Noi chuckled anyway.

“You wanna tell me what it was about?” She asked, hoping not to be pushy, but still wanting the answer nonetheless, “The nightmare, I mean.”

There was a long pause of silence, and Noi would have thought he had fallen asleep again if it wasn’t for his death grip on her shirt and his shaking. It would be safe to say his mind was scrambled right now, so she understood the wait. Hell, she would understand if he didn’t answer. Shin was still pretty out of it. He was the type of person to avoid talking about stuff like this outright, but he hadn’t said much of anything so she had no idea if he would at all.

“You can go back to sleep if you want-”

“It was about my dad. When he died,” Shin finally said.

“Oh.” She had heard about that from En more than she had from Shin himself. Pretty much the entire En family knew what happened.

“And some...other stuff.”

“Other stuff?” Noi questioned, shifting as Shin untensed ever so slightly, most of his weight being supported by her.

“Mmm,” He hummed, “Nothing important.”

Ah, there was the avoiding she was looking for. Not as straightforward as he normally was, but that was to be expected completely right now. “Sure seemed important to you,” She replied, “And what’s important to you is important to me.”

“I don’t like to talk about it,” He murmured.

To Noi that was code for ‘I’ve never talked about it’. In other words there was a chance between him saying something or completely voiding the topic. She may have been curious, but she just wanted him to be okay. That’s all that mattered to her right now. Shin may not have been the liveliest person there was, but he just looked so...drained. At least the shaking had died down a little bit. “Okay, c’mon, let’s lay down,” She said, slowly taking her hands away. For a second his grip on her tightened, all before he completely let go and she led the both of them to laying in their sides.

This was the first time she had seen his face now that he was awake. It may have been the lighting of the dim room or the way his eyes were practically half open, but his blue eyes looked darker. Overall he looked so absolutely tired it made her heart pang.

“You said “get off” when you were having your nightmare. Was that to me or..?”

Shin sighed, a soft sound this time around, and he closed his eyes tightly and then spoke when he opened them again. “You know I lived in Hole,” He started with, continuing after Noi nodded. “I lived on the streets for a while, you know before I could use my smoke.”

“We ran into each other during that time,” She pointed out, smiling just a little when his lips quirked up for a split second, vanishing just as quick.

“Yeah alotta sorcerer’s bothered me, more than the people of Hole actually,” He went on, “Guess sometimes they don’t like to practice on humans, dunno why.” Shin took a deep inhale, pausing before he went on yet again, “I kept having great luck, running into sorcerer’s with smoke kind of like Yaku’s. Didn’t remember any where I fell asleep, I just couldn’t move.”

“What did they do to you?” Noi asked hesitantly after a beat.

Shin gave her a tiny lopsided smile, “What do shitbags usually do when someone can’t move?”

It took Noi a moment to get what he was saying, mostly because there could have been a million answers. It finally sunk in when she asked herself, ‘what could have possibly affected him this badly’. Shin had faced death for fucks sake, and that was terrifying to a lot of people.

When she did finally register it she could feel her blood boiling, eyebrows furrowing down and her face scrunching up. “I’m gonna fucking rip their dicks off and shove them down their throats,” She growled, fists clenched, jaw set.

Shin actually chuckled, and she blinked, caught off guard. “Oh they’re long gone,” He said grimly, “Wish my stupid fucking brain would have went with them.”

“I’m going to learn how to revive those bastards just so I can prove to them you can die twice.”

“I’d love to see that,” Shin mumbled bemused and yet tired, scooting closed to wrap his arms around Noi again, burying his face against her sternum.

Noi wrapped her arms around him in kind, heaving out a sigh, finally feeling tired herself for once in forever. “I’m really sorry,” she said, “That shouldn’t have happened to you.”

“I can be a pretty shitty person sometimes,” He replied.

“Hey, no. No. None of that. No one deserves that. You definitely didn’t, no matter what you’ve said or done then or now,” Noi scowled at him even though he couldn’t see it.

“I just- Sometimes I-” Shin made a frustrated sound, tightening his hold on her and then relaxing again with a heavy sigh, “I know. You’re right. I know.”

“It’ll be okay,” Noi promised. She knew there was a lot he had yet to tell her, a lot they had to work on before it was truly okay. But it was a start. Beginnings are what make the truth happen.

“It’ll be okay,” Shin repeated.


End file.
